My 3-year-old daughter had her first ballet/tap dance class today and I had a very interesting awareness while the class was going on. All of the other little girls were standing in a nice line listening and following teacher’s directions, while my amazing wild child was doing circles around all of them.
My initial reaction was to go in and tell her to follow orders and get in line but I stepped back and watched the whole thing unfold. As the class went on, I started laughing as I observed the interaction. It was very funny and the teacher remained completely unphased by the whole thing. She would bring Sasha in line from time to time and just carry on with the lesson. I realized that she was just going with the flow of the class while I attempted to control my child’s behavior. I was also going in to the judgment and wrongness of me because of my child’s behavior and how it made me look bad in front of other adults.
Then I stated asking questions (which is one of the first tools of Access). Why was I so worried that my child was not standing in line nicely and quietly? Who was more interested in the dance lessons-me or Sasha? What would happen to Sasha if she does not follow directions or even quits the class? What would happen to me if she fails her first dance class? What secret agendas about the class and Sasha’s requirement to start classes early to succeed in life do I have? And most importantly: Did she enjoy the class?
Both Access Consciousness and Course in Miracle teach us to live in the question and not in the conclusion or judgment of ourselves or others and I learned a valuable lesson from my 3-year-old today. She did not know the steps or stand in line, but she enjoyed every minute of the class. She played and laughed and was pure joy to watch. And she cried when it came time to leave the class. In short-she loved it. So what would it take for us to get out of the judgment of us and laugh, love and enjoy playing the game we call life? And what can we learn from people we thing we have to teach?
Love and blessings, M.